Lexi Lewitt, First Grader

It's official. As of this morning, Lexi is a true, honest-to-goodness first grader. We fought the madness for her sneak-a-peak this morning. This is a zoo-like event in which the school attempts to make an organized effort of getting the school year started. They herd the hoards of parents and children through the cafeteria like cattle. The purpose? This is the time that you find out your child's teacher for the next school year and get bombarded by the PTA soccer moms to join their cult.

Once through the cafeteria and armed with the knowledge of who will be feeding Lexi's brain for the next 10 months, we proceeded to Mrs. Glenn's first grade classroom. Walking through the halls, Lexi was fine. Entering her new classroom, however, she clammed up into a fit of shyness. I swear my rear must smell nice because that is where she hides when she's nervous. Mrs. Glenn introduced herself although Lexi was still in her safe zone. We had to fill out the required mountain of paperwork that asks for the same info (child's name, parent's name, address, phone number, blah, blah) on each page as though the form's creator actually believes you may move residences in between filling out the forms.

Lexi was given a goody bag which was a thorn in Abby's backside. Abby wanted one too! While I was filling out the forms in a desk well-suited for someone Tinkerbell's size, I was eavesdropping on conversations throughout the room. I was quite amused to hear the uppity parents bragging about this and that. I cannot tell you how many times I heard the same guy explain to his first grader that they need to go so they could meet the teacher at the student's younger sibling's preschool which happens to be one of the nicest, most expensive schools in the area. Ironically, said school is located directly across the street from our neighborhood, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, this father was not saying it just for his own kids' benefits but for everyone else's, too. "We need to go (Insert child's name here) we have to go meet brother's teacher at THE GODDARD SCHOOL," he'd say. "We're going to be late at THE GODDARD SCHOOL," he'd reiterate. I heard those words part his lips a minimum of 5 times. Enough already! I get it! Your other child is going to the GODDARD SCHOOL! Point taken. Now shut up. Elitist parents, sheesh!

Anyway, that's done. Lexi has already told me that she wants us to drive her on Monday and she'll ride the bus from then on. That's fine. I can't believe it. Lexi Lewitt, First Grader (at last). Where has the time gone? Next thing you know we'll be doing this with Abby. Oy!