A tough couple of days

A tough couple of days
Current mood: sad

Some of you have known me awhile, others I've just met, so let me first explain. When I was 19, my dog of 14 years passed away. He was my buddy and I missed him sorely. Along with other circumstances that I don't care to mention now, I decided that I wanted another dog because I need unconditional love that only a dog could give. So, I got Cassi. My sweet, beautiful, spunky, toy poodle. She was my joy and filled the void in my life. I took her with me everywhere I went. At first, she was just a handful (literally) so I took her with me in a shoe box. Everyone knew that if I was going somewhere, so was she.

She is now 9 1/2 and I am well aware that she is a "senior." Since she crossed that divide at age 8, I have begun to think about the end. My worst fear is finding her lifeless in a corner one day. Growing up, I was raised in a house that always had at least 2 dogs. Never did my worst fear occur growing up, because my parents were always able to tell when it was time.

Monday, Cassi fell down the stairs in our house. She hit the baby gate at the bottom with her back. The rest of the day and the first part of Tuesday you could tell that she was sore. About 4 o'clock I noticed that her head was tilted to one side. I thought that she was having a seizure and my heart jumped into my throat. I kept her in her crate the rest of the day so the other dogs and Lexi would not bother her. At 10 o'clock I went to take her out to do her business, and she could barely stand, her head was still tilted to one side and it looked like her back was twisted. I called Stefan to come home and a friend of mine who worked at a vet clinic for a couple of yearsI was hysterical. My friend came to take a look at Cassi and said we should take her to an emergency vet clinic. There, she was diagnosed with Vestibular disease and she had to stay the night on IV fluids and Valium. In the morning, I transferred her to our vet. They agreed that it is Vestibular disease.

Vestibular disease takes three forms ranging from not-so-serious to its cause being potentially life threatening. Some dogs are unnecessarily euthenized due to VD. As I write this, I am kind of numb. I feel for Cassi, but I know what I need to do to honor her and not be selfish should this continue. I will give it another week, and if there is no improvement, my vet and I agree that it should be time to give Cassi her eternal nap. Cassi has been a loving and faithful pet for 9 1/2 years (heck, she and I grew up together!) and I wouldn't be a good and loving Mommy if I let her suffer.

Please keep her in your prayers.